It’s universally accepted among those with a dual set of X-chromosomes that videogames are for kids, and adults that play games are insecure losers fit for a lifetime of cat ownership and pay-go porn sites.

I honestly had a chick tell me one time that I’d never find a woman because I played videogames. She looked me square in the eye with her judgmental, vacuous, self-righteous view of the world, and condemned all gamers as losers with no social skills or aptitude. Of course I couldn’t call her out at the time; I was in the midst of an epic chick-slump that hanged tighter than Rosie O’Donnell’s top button. I had no comeback, no rallying cry I could call upon to combat her ignorant slander of myself and my brethren. Never mind the fact that I was in my early-20s, had few friends and spent more time with a console controller than I did working on getting to second base. Of course I proved her wrong with the emergence of the Self-Made Diva some months down the line, but her contention was one I’d been battling my whole life: Videogames are child’s play.

In 2004, I wrote an article about videogames and their explosion into popular culture. Sean Connery (You’re the man now, dog!) had just finished reprising his role as 007 in the videogame adaptation of ‘From Russia With Love,’ and Vin Diesel (yeah I know he sucks now) was on the verge of starring an original ‘Riddick’ game. It only took 25 years, but videogames had finally been accepted into popular culture. I referenced a popular Australian study (http://blogs.theage.com.au/screenplay/archives//004937.html) in my article that suggested that half of all gamers were women, and the average age overall was 28. I felt like the little kid tired of being bullied who finally sticks his chest out because his big brother (science) steps in. Take that, snooty chicks!

“If Heath Ledger can play videogames (pre-OD), then so can I!”

I rolled with that study every time I encountered a combatant woman or doucher who questioned my favorite hobby. I was untouchable, unflappable even. I didn’t feel like a pedophile walking into Gamestop (I’ve got to admit, it was starting to get weird). I was vindicated, and with the burgeoning explosion of gaming I could finally emerge from behind a stack of Nintendo Power magazines and come clean.

“Yes, I am a gamer. No, I’m not an overweight, socially awkward loser.”

As it turns out five years later, I could possibly be an overweight, socially awkward loser.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8206163.stm

When this hit, my wife took about three seconds to say, “See, I told you!”

Was the nation of gamers growing older, fatter and socially inept? Was I more depressed than everyone else in America, or were gamers catching a bad rap?

To be honest, the answer lies somewhere in the middle. On average, we probably look like the stereotypical Chuck Taylor-wearing, Wolverine t-shirt-sportin’, Depeche Mode listenin’ virgins. But can we really paint an entire segment of our culture with broad strokes? Does stereotyping really exist in America of all places, the freest country in the galaxy?

Hell yes, stereotyping is running strong, and woman line-up in droves to expound just how immature gaming is.

“Why can’t men grow-up?” they often ask while ignoring the fact they're obsessed with ‘Twilight’, the poorly-written book series that spawned the equally inept movie franchise. Does anyone realize how many women are obsessed with this stuff? The books are about a bunch of young vampire kids reciting cardboard dialogue. So realize that this book franchise is aiming for the 15-year-old demographic, not the 28-year-old demographic. And does anyone else think that ‘Twi-moms’ obsessing over Rob and Taylor beside their daughters is disturbing in a ‘The Graduate’ sort of way?

Geez, as long as women are watching/reading Twilight in droves, they might as well go ahead and watch MTV reality television to complete unsatisfied high school dreams.

The Real World. Jersey Shore. The Hills. Laguna Beach. Road Rules. Super Sweet 16. These are just a few examples of the youth-driven programming that airs on the Music Television Network. And you know what? Women love that stuff. Six shows, all with the same dialogue and created for girls in training bras.

“I know, right?”

“Like whatever!”

“You know, like, I wanna like him but like, you know, like; I just don’t know.”

All I’m saying, ladies, is that you’re not as mature as you think you might be.





Don’t get me wrong; they’re lots of gamers that look exactly like this guy:



Then again, there are gamers that look like this: (Obviously before Chris Brown used her face as a speed bag)



So ladies, the next time you’re chiding your men because they’re playing a videogame, put down your copy of New Moon, turn off The Hills and take a look in the mirror; preferably the mirror in your ‘Edward’ compact.